I grew up in a South Asian household in the West of Scotland with the expectations and beliefs about how life was meant to be. Higher education, career, marriage, children, a home together with wealth and good health. I believed this was my linear path.
However, life is never a linear path but instead takes us upon paths we never thought we would traverse. As life lead me down a path of the unknown I began to question who I was and where I belonged. I felt like this problem to be ‘fixed’ when others would offer me unsolicited advice and comments. That lead to deep shame and I carried it around like a dark cloud allowing it to weigh me down. Whatever, little self-worth I had was eroded. If I could just get back on the path I had envisaged I could feel whole again and feel worthy. I felt resentment over my past and resisted the present. The results of my efforts kept bringing me back upon the path I was avoiding. I had a choice ‘to continue the path and resist’ or ‘surrender and accept my life as it is’. The famous poet and scholar Jalaludin Rumi said ‘Surrender is the beginning of wisdom’. I stopped resisting and accepted my present. I allowed the path that I was walking on to open up in front of me. I began to examine by myself, my weaknesses, my intentions, my grief, my anger and my heart. It allowed me to dive into the depths of my soul and face whatever I feared, to find joy and contentment.
